How to choose a nursery: eleven questions worth asking on the tour

Every nursery tour shows you the same things: bright displays, a tidy garden and staff on their best behaviour. Knowing how to choose a nursery means asking questions that reveal what an ordinary wet Tuesday in February looks like, and these eleven have served parents well.

The people who will look after your child

1. What are your ratios, and how often are you at the legal maximum? Ratios are set by law: one adult to three children under two, one to five for two year olds and one to eight for three and four year olds. The interesting part is the second half of the question. A good answer is specific about how they cover lunch breaks, sickness and holidays, and whether they use regular bank staff who know the children or agency strangers.

2. Who would be my child's key person, and what does that actually mean here? Every child must have a named key person. In strong settings that person genuinely knows your child: how they settle for a nap, what worries them, which friend they gravitate towards. A good answer describes a real system, such as the key person leading your child's settling sessions and writing their updates, rather than a vague claim that everybody knows all the children.

3. How long have your staff been here? Turnover is the single most honest indicator of how a nursery is run, because good practitioners leave badly run rooms quickly. Ask how many of the team have been there more than two years. Nobody expects zero turnover; you are listening for a manager who answers without flinching and can point to several long stayers by name.

Settling in, biting and the days that go wrong

4. What does settling in look like, and what happens if my child is not ready? A good settling process is gradual, usually a few short visits building up to a full session, and it flexes around the child rather than the calendar. Be wary of a fixed script with no plan B. The best answers include what they do when a child is still sobbing at drop off in week three, because some children are.

5. How do you handle biting? Biting is normal toddler behaviour and every nursery deals with it, so distrust anyone who claims it never happens. You want to hear that staff respond calmly, comfort the bitten child, help the biter find words and watch for patterns, and that both families are told the same day without the other child being named.

6. What does a bad day look like here, and what do you do about it? This question surprises people, which is exactly the point. A confident manager will describe a real scenario: two staff off sick, a delivery that never arrived, a child having a genuinely hard week. You are listening for honesty and a working plan, not a breezy claim that bad days do not happen.

Food, fresh air and the shape of the day

7. Who cooks the food, and can I see this week's menu? Ask whether meals are cooked on site or bought in, how allergies are managed at the table and what happens when a child refuses everything. A good answer includes an actual menu you can hold, and staff who sit and eat with the children rather than hovering over them.

8. How much time do the children spend outdoors, and in what weather? Young children learn enormously from being outside, and rain is not a reason to stay in. Listen for something like "we go out every day unless it is genuinely unsafe", backed by wellies and puddle suits by the door. Ask to see how each room reaches the garden; you can see how our rooms are organised before you visit.

How to choose a nursery you can trust with the serious stuff

9. Can you walk me through your safeguarding basics? You are not testing policy wording. You want to know who the designated safeguarding lead is, how staff are vetted and trained, how mobile phones are managed in the rooms and what happens if a child arrives with an unexplained bruise. A good setting answers fluently because they rehearse it, and they will never be offended that you asked.

10. How will I know what kind of day my child had? Ask what you will actually receive: a conversation at pickup, an app, photos, a written summary, and how often each arrives. The good answer is a mixture, with a real person at handover who knows your child and can tell you something specific, not just that she was fine.

Money, without surprises

11. What exactly will I pay, and what is not included? Ask for the full picture in writing: hourly or daily rates, what funded hours cover, charges for meals, nappies and consumables, the deposit, the notice period and late collection fees. A nursery that is confident about its value hands this over happily. Our own joining process is set out step by step on our admissions page, and if anything is unclear we would rather you asked twice.

What if every answer sounded fine but something still felt off?

Trust that feeling and visit again, ideally at pickup time when the polish has worn off the day. Watch whether adults get down to the children's level, whether children approach staff freely and whether anyone actually talks to your child during the tour rather than only to you. The right nursery tends to feel obvious once you have seen two or three, which is a strong argument for touring more than one.

When you are ready to put us under the same scrutiny, book a tour and bring this list with you; we enjoy the hard questions.